it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
