I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
