She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
