Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize