Three words: puerto rican gang bang
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Boobs speak an international language.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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