think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
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Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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