Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
