its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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