so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
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Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
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Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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