Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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