The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I will die if light touches me.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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