carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
