i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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