Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
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Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
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I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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