He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
