Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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