Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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