Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
