Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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