just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
pray to the hookup gods
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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