i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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