Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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