none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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