have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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