is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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