Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.

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  (610): C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues. http://tfl.nu/dcql
  Replies (5) Good night (1499) Bad night (566)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.

  (989): View more from Michigan

  you're going for the gold here.

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  (906): i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage. (989): you're going for the gold here. http://tfl.nu/773u
  Replies (9) Good night (2774) Bad night (571)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon

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  (631): Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon http://tfl.nu/mdvf
  Replies (16) Good night (974) Bad night (4775)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...

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  (313): Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this... http://tfl.nu/lox2
  Replies (10) Good night (805) Bad night (4471)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.

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  (956): You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head. http://tfl.nu/2njk
  Replies (22) Good night (5755) Bad night (1029)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...

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  (210): You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink... http://tfl.nu/o571
  Replies (11) Good night (1947) Bad night (3844)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Just the budget?

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  (515): I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget... (316): Just the budget? http://tfl.nu/v45e
  Replies (4) Good night (4556) Bad night (1053)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS

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  (609): And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS http://tfl.nu/9yrh
  Replies (17) Good night (1229) Bad night (4630)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening

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  (604): I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening http://tfl.nu/c0v1
  Replies (44) Good night (1617) Bad night (7041)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2

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  (336): He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2 http://tfl.nu/rjqf
  Replies (5) Good night (2158) Bad night (585)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.

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  (914): I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have. http://tfl.nu/s46w
  Replies (5) Good night (808) Bad night (418)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.

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  (971): Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should. http://tfl.nu/ipz3
  Replies (11) Good night (573) Bad night (952)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?

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  (412): also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him? http://tfl.nu/m6h2
  Replies (0) Good night (490) Bad night (550)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.

  (216): View more from Ohio

  It's a Jersey thing

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  (732): He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet. (216): It's a Jersey thing http://tfl.nu/jggk
  Replies (1) Good night (339) Bad night (530)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.

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  (734): You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo. http://tfl.nu/r2ob
  Replies (0) Good night (314) Bad night (403)

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