I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
