Texts From Last Night

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  (562): View more from California

  Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.

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  (562): Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace. http://tfl.nu/mzqe
  Replies (8) Good night (1186) Bad night (618)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'

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  (917): apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money' http://tfl.nu/vf8t
  Replies (4) Good night (2225) Bad night (970)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.

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  (678): I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night. http://tfl.nu/yws8
  Replies (9) Good night (8707) Bad night (1031)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.

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  (704): The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it. http://tfl.nu/e919
  Replies (20) Good night (8042) Bad night (1307)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.

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  (636): The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen. http://tfl.nu/0t44
  Replies (8) Good night (3061) Bad night (1122)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.

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  (419): Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night. http://tfl.nu/v4wy
  Replies (6) Good night (1014) Bad night (2352)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at

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  (630): oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at http://tfl.nu/dl7w
  Replies (5) Good night (921) Bad night (1991)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...

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  (781): Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out... http://tfl.nu/xv6z
  Replies (5) Good night (2625) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.

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  (805): She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds. http://tfl.nu/ggeo
  Replies (4) Good night (1642) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool

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  (778): He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool http://tfl.nu/x8lz
  Replies (5) Good night (1252) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.

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  (773): This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real. http://tfl.nu/vkv3
  Replies (3) Good night (651) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.

  (1-320): View more from Minnesota

  The apocalypse has arrived.

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  (320): For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment. (1-320): The apocalypse has arrived. http://tfl.nu/kypn
  Replies (1) Good night (693) Bad night (453)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.

  (253): View more from Washington

  You're lovely.

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  (425): Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight. (253): You're lovely. http://tfl.nu/vx83
  Replies (2) Good night (703) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"

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  (913): The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual" http://tfl.nu/c1s6
  Replies (1) Good night (917) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.

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  (314): On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid. http://tfl.nu/tnc9
  Replies (3) Good night (260) Bad night (390)

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