Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
