You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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