i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I met the friendliest cop last night
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
