we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
