Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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