dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
