if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
did you just send me my own nude
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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