hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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