i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
