is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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