I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
