Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
