I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
This is not my ceiling
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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