Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
