so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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