Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize