Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
