I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Randomize
