Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
