Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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