i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
