All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
