i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
