Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
