can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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