He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
