Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
How's work?
Spinning.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
