I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
