Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
