You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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