then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
