I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
