I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
