But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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