if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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