Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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